zackisontumblr: life goal: have a nice butt
I hate my friends
lunaticphan: So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. Cry
When I'm famous and I appear on TV...
sodamnrelatable: My parents will be like: My teachers will be like: And my classmates, who ignored me for all these years, will be like: Karma, bitches.
davejadetier: BEE SEX IS REALLY FUNNY OKAY HEAR ME OUT BASICALLY THE MALE BEE GOES TO THE QUEEN AND INSERTS ITS PENIS INTO THE QUEEN BEE AND THEN THEY EJACULATE AT SUCH A HIGH SPEED THAT THEY GENITALS FUCKING EXPLODE AND ARE LEFT IN THE QUEEN FOREVER AND THE MALE BEE FALLS ON THE GROUND AND DIES
fuckinq: I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me
principatus: fuck boys but also fuck boys u feel me